Thursday, 7 April 2011

Thongs, Panties, Bras & Tandoori Chicken Tikka

By Philippa Morton.

I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT! Gotcha. Just kidding. But now that I have your attention, I would be lying if I said I don’t admire beauty in a woman. And unlike the male species, admiring the splendour of my own sex doesn’t make me gay! So, I’m sure it was with great dismay (from my male counterparts) when I got to visit the Mint Leaf Lounge in Bank for a burlesque performance and lingerie show! And to add insult to injury, it wasn’t a male friend I chose to accompany me, but one of my girlfriends. So, in your face all you men who are so totally oversexed!

I have to say, Mint really is the word for this restaurant. The decor is exquisite, modern, sleek and all that, but, more to the point, so are the accented waitresses who brought me my first cocktail for the night: a Porn Star Martini. My girlfriend and I were turned on already.

Tribal drum rhythms synchronised with deep undertoned beats and drew out my primitive instincts. I felt my innards starting to gyrate to the rhythm, but naturally held myself back in accordance to societal chains. Luckily, an antidote came in the form of bar snacks. Nothing porno about these....or was there?

Interestingly - and it wouldn’t be obvious from the establishment’s name - the cuisine is Indian. So, scrumptious mouthfuls of Tandoori Paneer diluted my spiced-up hormones, and Tandoori Chicken Tikka roles and Goat Sheek Kebabs satisfied my hunger; my hunger for food, that is. Definitely a 10/10 for those! The spiciness was just right, but alas, seemed to coax out my mojo again with its sweet aromas and subtle flavours.

And between morsels of goat and paneer, suddenly...Boom Chicka Wow Wow! At that moment Esme Bianco, the evening’s burlesque performer, graced the stage singing sweetly. It just so happened that we were sitting next to her parents, probably the only +50s in the restaurant. Mostly, it was swanky young Bank blokes in suits, swaggering around. Swaggering that is, until the lingerie models came on stage.

Suddenly the boys transformed into shy little meerkats, popping their heads up gingerly every now and then with their hands in their laps and their knees clasped tightly together. It was certainly an interesting observation. They didn’t seem to have any idea where to look, as if to shy away from any course that could possibly generate accusation.

Now boys, we DON’T MIND YOUR LOOKING when we are burlesque dancers or lingerie models. It delights our egos when you admire our beauty. Do you honestly think we would have any other reason to do it? As for me, I wasn’t bothered and knew that I could admire as much as I like; these girls were minxes to the max.

So it was thongs, panties, nighties, holdups, bras; you name it, they had it. Suddenly I felt all my admiration fade, as my eyes turned suddenly green thinking that not only did the models have gorgeous bodies with bodacious curves, but they probably got to keep each item they modelled too.

Nonetheless, the night wore on, with the models displaying yet more lingerie. Sadly, there was no more performances from the lovely Esme, but we were lucky enough to have her sit next to us with her folks, and she was just as beautiful close up as she was on stage. Now, having attending this sexilicious event at Mint Leaf Lounge, being all spiced up with my primitive instinct trying to take over, I really gained some understanding of bisexual women. I can honestly say: No wonder! And thus it begs the question: who’s oversexed then?

Looking for more Burlesque inspiration? Click here for the Top 10 Best Burlesque bars and clubs in London.


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